There will always be storms. Magnificent perhaps to the observer, sometimes frightening, it’s when you are in the storm that you want to get out.
Often quoted, “If you want to see the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the storm,” it’s little consolation. Rainbows are transcient illussions that are after all a result of playful light particles. They are not real. We all realise that after chasing a couple of pretty rainbows.
Life is hard. There is a weariness in each of us, of pursuing something which we never know can be permanent. And there are frequently illusions that we create for ourselves. Fantasies that are projections of our innermost desires, extrapolations of what we want to believe that is beautiful. Reality is seldom so kind. We want to hope, but each time that hope is shattered, we get a little more bitter and cynical. What we used to believe in so fervently become difficult concepts to grasp. We are disappointed and we become disillusioned.
What do we want in life anyway? To build a better life than one that we ever had? To return a better life to you family and loved ones who have been there? To have someone to share the ups and downs in life with? Paint the perfect picture, compose the perfect song, play the perfect game?
But the one thing that is often written about, the one thing that we all so desperately pursue, is beyond our control. Unreciprocated feelings, unpredictable people, irrational decisions. It’s frustrating. Because it does not make sense. When that happens, you find the images going round and round in your mind, you try to look for reconciliation and perhaps some reason but you can’t. The only things that seem to make sense are the things that were not articulated, the inconsistencies in what was said is confusing.
We know that sometimes we need to hang on. And sometimes we need to let go. It’s never easy either way, but the one thing that we should never do, is to walk away from something that’s started and not concluded. We’ve got to finish it. There has to be proper closure. It’s difficult but we’ve got to do it.
There is no point in apologies anymore. It’s little consolation. “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean anything.
When you walk away, you abdicate yourself and you hurt the another person. Abdication is easy, you just simply walk away. But abdication is cruel because it is irresponsible. You leave a mess behind. For someone else to clean up. A mess that you created and realise you cannot finish. And then walking away.
Life is full of them.
Storms.
